horoscope: you breathe on a daily basis
me: omg that is so me how did they do that


do you ever rip off a piece of your lip with your teeth and swallow it and realize you just ate yourself 


iguanamouth:

current emotion: any picture of spike the dinosaur from land before time

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astound:

I was on the way home in the bus and there was a construction worker standing next to me. Ok so the bus was moving and the bus driver suddenly jammed the brake.
THE GUY GRABBED MY FACE INSTEAD OF THE POLE I AM SO MAD


slomps:

Plot twist: Social and funny in real life, awkward on the internet


poupon:

drakensberg:

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor


hurricane-whore:

idoitforyoulove:

castielcampbell:

r3adytogivetheprofile:

i will reblog this every time

I worked with a lady that came into work one day with no hair. No one mentioned it, no one talked about it. She was wearing a bandana so we all knew she was bald.

But I have ADD, and not so great control of my impulsiveness. Finally, near the end of the night I asked. “So… can I ask, what happened to your hairs?”

She smiled and hugged me. I was the only person with the cajones to ask. “My best friend is pregnant, already has a 4 yr old, and was diagnosed with cancer, and her boyfriend left her because it was too much. So I’ve been helping her out, being supportive. And I promised her if she started losing her hair I would shave my head too.”

“Last night she called me, crying because her hair was falling out in clumps. I told her I’d be there in 10 minutes. She shaved me first, then I her.”

It’s the most supportive thing she could think to do.

I just started crying.

Love it 👆


spicyshimmy:

unanticipated changes made without warning to your social media site

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futuristic-space-cake:

awkward-fallen-angel:

rustboro-city:

hailhydrangeas:

visual-hana:

comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.

this is how you make “gay jokes” folks

having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime

optimus prime

I think you mean optimom prime


blurredbynes:

i had self esteem for like 3 minutes once


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